2147 lines
106 KiB
Plaintext
2147 lines
106 KiB
Plaintext
ANTHEM
|
||
|
||
by Ayn Rand
|
||
|
||
|
||
CONTENTS
|
||
|
||
PART ONE
|
||
|
||
PART TWO
|
||
|
||
PART THREE
|
||
|
||
PART FOUR
|
||
|
||
PART FIVE
|
||
|
||
PART SIX
|
||
|
||
PART SEVEN
|
||
|
||
PART EIGHT
|
||
|
||
PART NINE
|
||
|
||
PART TEN
|
||
|
||
PART ELEVEN
|
||
|
||
PART TWELVE
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
PART ONE
|
||
|
||
It is a sin to write this. It is a sin to think words no others
|
||
think and to put them down upon a paper no others are to see. It
|
||
is base and evil. It is as if we were speaking alone to no ears
|
||
but our own. And we know well that there is no transgression
|
||
blacker than to do or think alone. We have broken the laws. The
|
||
laws say that men may not write unless the Council of Vocations
|
||
bid them so. May we be forgiven!
|
||
|
||
But this is not the only sin upon us. We have committed a greater
|
||
crime, and for this crime there is no name. What punishment
|
||
awaits us if it be discovered we know not, for no such crime has
|
||
come in the memory of men and there are no laws to provide for
|
||
it.
|
||
|
||
It is dark here. The flame of the candle stands still in the air.
|
||
Nothing moves in this tunnel save our hand on the paper. We are
|
||
alone here under the earth. It is a fearful word, alone. The laws
|
||
say that none among men may be alone, ever and at any time, for
|
||
this is the great transgression and the root of all evil. But we
|
||
have broken many laws. And now there is nothing here save our one
|
||
body, and it is strange to see only two legs stretched on the
|
||
ground, and on the wall before us the shadow of our one head.
|
||
|
||
The walls are cracked and water runs upon them in thin threads
|
||
without sound, black and glistening as blood. We stole the candle
|
||
from the larder of the Home of the Street Sweepers. We shall be
|
||
sentenced to ten years in the Palace of Corrective Detention if
|
||
it be discovered. But this matters not. It matters only that the
|
||
light is precious and we should not waste it to write when we
|
||
need it for that work which is our crime. Nothing matters save
|
||
the work, our secret, our evil, our precious work. Still, we must
|
||
also write, for—may the Council have mercy upon us!—we wish to
|
||
speak for once to no ears but our own.
|
||
|
||
Our name is Equality 7-2521, as it is written on the iron
|
||
bracelet which all men wear on their left wrists with their names
|
||
upon it. We are twenty-one years old. We are six feet tall, and
|
||
this is a burden, for there are not many men who are six feet
|
||
tall. Ever have the Teachers and the Leaders pointed to us and
|
||
frowned and said:
|
||
|
||
“There is evil in your bones, Equality 7-2521, for your body has
|
||
grown beyond the bodies of your brothers.” But we cannot change
|
||
our bones nor our body.
|
||
|
||
We were born with a curse. It has always driven us to thoughts
|
||
which are forbidden. It has always given us wishes which men may
|
||
not wish. We know that we are evil, but there is no will in us
|
||
and no power to resist it. This is our wonder and our secret
|
||
fear, that we know and do not resist.
|
||
|
||
We strive to be like all our brother men, for all men must be
|
||
alike. Over the portals of the Palace of the World Council, there
|
||
are words cut in the marble, which we repeat to ourselves
|
||
whenever we are tempted:
|
||
|
||
“WE ARE ONE IN ALL AND ALL IN ONE.
|
||
THERE ARE NO MEN BUT ONLY THE GREAT _WE_,
|
||
ONE, INDIVISIBLE AND FOREVER.”
|
||
|
||
We repeat this to ourselves, but it helps us not.
|
||
|
||
These words were cut long ago. There is green mould in the
|
||
grooves of the letters and yellow streaks on the marble, which
|
||
come from more years than men could count. And these words are
|
||
the truth, for they are written on the Palace of the World
|
||
Council, and the World Council is the body of all truth. Thus has
|
||
it been ever since the Great Rebirth, and farther back than that
|
||
no memory can reach.
|
||
|
||
But we must never speak of the times before the Great Rebirth,
|
||
else we are sentenced to three years in the Palace of Corrective
|
||
Detention. It is only the Old Ones who whisper about it in the
|
||
evenings, in the Home of the Useless. They whisper many strange
|
||
things, of the towers which rose to the sky, in those
|
||
Unmentionable Times, and of the wagons which moved without
|
||
horses, and of the lights which burned without flame. But those
|
||
times were evil. And those times passed away, when men saw the
|
||
Great Truth which is this: that all men are one and that there is
|
||
no will save the will of all men together.
|
||
|
||
All men are good and wise. It is only we, Equality 7-2521, we
|
||
alone who were born with a curse. For we are not like our
|
||
brothers. And as we look back upon our life, we see that it has
|
||
ever been thus and that it has brought us step by step to our
|
||
last, supreme transgression, our crime of crimes hidden here
|
||
under the ground.
|
||
|
||
We remember the Home of the Infants where we lived till we were
|
||
five years old, together with all the children of the City who
|
||
had been born in the same year. The sleeping halls there were
|
||
white and clean and bare of all things save one hundred beds. We
|
||
were just like all our brothers then, save for the one
|
||
transgression: we fought with our brothers. There are few
|
||
offenses blacker than to fight with our brothers, at any age and
|
||
for any cause whatsoever. The Council of the Home told us so, and
|
||
of all the children of that year, we were locked in the cellar
|
||
most often.
|
||
|
||
When we were five years old, we were sent to the Home of the
|
||
Students, where there are ten wards, for our ten years of
|
||
learning. Men must learn till they reach their fifteenth year.
|
||
Then they go to work. In the Home of the Students we arose when
|
||
the big bell rang in the tower and we went to our beds when it
|
||
rang again. Before we removed our garments, we stood in the great
|
||
sleeping hall, and we raised our right arms, and we said all
|
||
together with the three Teachers at the head:
|
||
|
||
“We are nothing. Mankind is all. By the grace of our brothers are
|
||
we allowed our lives. We exist through, by and for our brothers
|
||
who are the State. Amen.”
|
||
|
||
Then we slept. The sleeping halls were white and clean and bare
|
||
of all things save one hundred beds.
|
||
|
||
We, Equality 7-2521, were not happy in those years in the Home of
|
||
the Students. It was not that the learning was too hard for us.
|
||
It was that the learning was too easy. This is a great sin, to be
|
||
born with a head which is too quick. It is not good to be
|
||
different from our brothers, but it is evil to be superior to
|
||
them. The Teachers told us so, and they frowned when they looked
|
||
upon us.
|
||
|
||
So we fought against this curse. We tried to forget our lessons,
|
||
but we always remembered. We tried not to understand what the
|
||
Teachers taught, but we always understood it before the Teachers
|
||
had spoken. We looked upon Union 5-3992, who were a pale boy with
|
||
only half a brain, and we tried to say and do as they did, that
|
||
we might be like them, like Union 5-3992, but somehow the
|
||
Teachers knew that we were not. And we were lashed more often
|
||
than all the other children.
|
||
|
||
The Teachers were just, for they had been appointed by the
|
||
Councils, and the Councils are the voice of all justice, for they
|
||
are the voice of all men. And if sometimes, in the secret
|
||
darkness of our heart, we regret that which befell us on our
|
||
fifteenth birthday, we know that it was through our own guilt. We
|
||
had broken a law, for we had not paid heed to the words of our
|
||
Teachers. The Teachers had said to us all:
|
||
|
||
“Dare not choose in your minds the work you would like to do when
|
||
you leave the Home of the Students. You shall do that which the
|
||
Council of Vocations shall prescribe for you. For the Council of
|
||
Vocations knows in its great wisdom where you are needed by your
|
||
brother men, better than you can know it in your unworthy little
|
||
minds. And if you are not needed by your brother man, there is no
|
||
reason for you to burden the earth with your bodies.”
|
||
|
||
We knew this well, in the years of our childhood, but our curse
|
||
broke our will. We were guilty and we confess it here: we were
|
||
guilty of the great Transgression of Preference. We preferred
|
||
some work and some lessons to the others. We did not listen well
|
||
to the history of all the Councils elected since the Great
|
||
Rebirth. But we loved the Science of Things. We wished to know.
|
||
We wished to know about all the things which make the earth
|
||
around us. We asked so many questions that the Teachers forbade
|
||
it.
|
||
|
||
We think that there are mysteries in the sky and under the water
|
||
and in the plants which grow. But the Council of Scholars has
|
||
said that there are no mysteries, and the Council of Scholars
|
||
knows all things. And we learned much from our Teachers. We
|
||
learned that the earth is flat and that the sun revolves around
|
||
it, which causes the day and the night. We learned the names of
|
||
all the winds which blow over the seas and push the sails of our
|
||
great ships. We learned how to bleed men to cure them of all
|
||
ailments.
|
||
|
||
We loved the Science of Things. And in the darkness, in the
|
||
secret hour, when we awoke in the night and there were no
|
||
brothers around us, but only their shapes in the beds and their
|
||
snores, we closed our eyes, and we held our lips shut, and we
|
||
stopped our breath, that no shudder might let our brothers see or
|
||
hear or guess, and we thought that we wished to be sent to the
|
||
Home of the Scholars when our time would come.
|
||
|
||
All the great modern inventions come from the Home of the
|
||
Scholars, such as the newest one, which was found only a hundred
|
||
years ago, of how to make candles from wax and string; also, how
|
||
to make glass, which is put in our windows to protect us from the
|
||
rain. To find these things, the Scholars must study the earth and
|
||
learn from the rivers, from the sands, from the winds and the
|
||
rocks. And if we went to the Home of the Scholars, we could learn
|
||
from these also. We could ask questions of these, for they do not
|
||
forbid questions.
|
||
|
||
And questions give us no rest. We know not why our curse makes us
|
||
seek we know not what, ever and ever. But we cannot resist it. It
|
||
whispers to us that there are great things on this earth of ours,
|
||
and that we can know them if we try, and that we must know them.
|
||
We ask, why must we know, but it has no answer to give us. We
|
||
must know that we may know.
|
||
|
||
So we wished to be sent to the Home of the Scholars. We wished it
|
||
so much that our hands trembled under the blankets in the night,
|
||
and we bit our arm to stop that other pain which we could not
|
||
endure. It was evil and we dared not face our brothers in the
|
||
morning. For men may wish nothing for themselves. And we were
|
||
punished when the Council of Vocations came to give us our life
|
||
Mandates which tell those who reach their fifteenth year what
|
||
their work is to be for the rest of their days.
|
||
|
||
The Council of Vocations came on the first day of spring, and
|
||
they sat in the great hall. And we who were fifteen and all the
|
||
Teachers came into the great hall. And the Council of Vocations
|
||
sat on a high dais, and they had but two words to speak to each
|
||
of the Students. They called the Students’ names, and when the
|
||
Students stepped before them, one after another, the Council
|
||
said: “Carpenter” or “Doctor” or “Cook” or “Leader.” Then each
|
||
Student raised their right arm and said: “The will of our
|
||
brothers be done.”
|
||
|
||
Now if the Council has said “Carpenter” or “Cook,” the Students
|
||
so assigned go to work and they do not study any further. But if
|
||
the Council has said “Leader,” then those Students go into the
|
||
Home of the Leaders, which is the greatest house in the City, for
|
||
it has three stories. And there they study for many years, so
|
||
that they may become candidates and be elected to the City
|
||
Council and the State Council and the World Council—by a free and
|
||
general vote of all men. But we wished not to be a Leader, even
|
||
though it is a great honor. We wished to be a Scholar.
|
||
|
||
So we awaited our turn in the great hall and then we heard the
|
||
Council of Vocations call our name: “Equality 7-2521.” We walked
|
||
to the dais, and our legs did not tremble, and we looked up at
|
||
the Council. There were five members of the Council, three of the
|
||
male gender and two of the female. Their hair was white and their
|
||
faces were cracked as the clay of a dry river bed. They were old.
|
||
They seemed older than the marble of the Temple of the World
|
||
Council. They sat before us and they did not move. And we saw no
|
||
breath to stir the folds of their white togas. But we knew that
|
||
they were alive, for a finger of the hand of the oldest rose,
|
||
pointed to us, and fell down again. This was the only thing which
|
||
moved, for the lips of the oldest did not move as they said:
|
||
“Street Sweeper.”
|
||
|
||
We felt the cords of our neck grow tight as our head rose higher
|
||
to look upon the faces of the Council, and we were happy. We knew
|
||
we had been guilty, but now we had a way to atone for it. We
|
||
would accept our Life Mandate, and we would work for our
|
||
brothers, gladly and willingly, and we would erase our sin
|
||
against them, which they did not know, but we knew. So we were
|
||
happy, and proud of ourselves and of our victory over ourselves.
|
||
We raised our right arm and we spoke, and our voice was the
|
||
clearest, the steadiest voice in the hall that day, and we said:
|
||
|
||
“The will of our brothers be done.”
|
||
|
||
And we looked straight into the eyes of the Council, but their
|
||
eyes were as cold blue glass buttons.
|
||
|
||
So we went into the Home of the Street Sweepers. It is a grey
|
||
house on a narrow street. There is a sundial in its courtyard, by
|
||
which the Council of the Home can tell the hours of the day and
|
||
when to ring the bell. When the bell rings, we all arise from our
|
||
beds. The sky is green and cold in our windows to the east. The
|
||
shadow on the sundial marks off a half-hour while we dress and
|
||
eat our breakfast in the dining hall, where there are five long
|
||
tables with twenty clay plates and twenty clay cups on each
|
||
table. Then we go to work in the streets of the City, with our
|
||
brooms and our rakes. In five hours, when the sun is high, we
|
||
return to the Home and we eat our midday meal, for which one-half
|
||
hour is allowed. Then we go to work again. In five hours, the
|
||
shadows are blue on the pavements, and the sky is blue with a
|
||
deep brightness which is not bright. We come back to have our
|
||
dinner, which lasts one hour. Then the bell rings and we walk in
|
||
a straight column to one of the City Halls, for the Social
|
||
Meeting. Other columns of men arrive from the Homes of the
|
||
different Trades. The candles are lit, and the Councils of the
|
||
different Homes stand in a pulpit, and they speak to us of our
|
||
duties and of our brother men. Then visiting Leaders mount the
|
||
pulpit and they read to us the speeches which were made in the
|
||
City Council that day, for the City Council represents all men
|
||
and all men must know. Then we sing hymns, the Hymn of
|
||
Brotherhood, and the Hymn of Equality, and the Hymn of the
|
||
Collective Spirit. The sky is a soggy purple when we return to
|
||
the Home. Then the bell rings and we walk in a straight column to
|
||
the City Theatre for three hours of Social Recreation. There a
|
||
play is shown upon the stage, with two great choruses from the
|
||
Home of the Actors, which speak and answer all together, in two
|
||
great voices. The plays are about toil and how good it is. Then
|
||
we walk back to the Home in a straight column. The sky is like a
|
||
black sieve pierced by silver drops that tremble, ready to burst
|
||
through. The moths beat against the street lanterns. We go to our
|
||
beds and we sleep, till the bell rings again. The sleeping halls
|
||
are white and clean and bare of all things save one hundred beds.
|
||
|
||
Thus have we lived each day of four years, until two springs ago
|
||
when our crime happened. Thus must all men live until they are
|
||
forty. At forty, they are worn out. At forty, they are sent to
|
||
the Home of the Useless, where the Old Ones live. The Old Ones do
|
||
not work, for the State takes care of them. They sit in the sun
|
||
in summer and they sit by the fire in winter. They do not speak
|
||
often, for they are weary. The Old Ones know that they are soon
|
||
to die. When a miracle happens and some live to be forty-five,
|
||
they are the Ancient Ones, and the children stare at them when
|
||
passing by the Home of the Useless. Such is to be our life, as
|
||
that of all our brothers and of the brothers who came before us.
|
||
|
||
Such would have been our life, had we not committed our crime
|
||
which changed all things for us. And it was our curse which drove
|
||
us to our crime. We had been a good Street Sweeper and like all
|
||
our brother Street Sweepers, save for our cursed wish to know. We
|
||
looked too long at the stars at night, and at the trees and the
|
||
earth. And when we cleaned the yard of the Home of the Scholars,
|
||
we gathered the glass vials, the pieces of metal, the dried bones
|
||
which they had discarded. We wished to keep these things and to
|
||
study them, but we had no place to hide them. So we carried them
|
||
to the City Cesspool. And then we made the discovery.
|
||
|
||
It was on a day of the spring before last. We Street Sweepers
|
||
work in brigades of three, and we were with Union 5-3992, they of
|
||
the half-brain, and with International 4-8818. Now Union 5-3992
|
||
are a sickly lad and sometimes they are stricken with
|
||
convulsions, when their mouth froths and their eyes turn white.
|
||
But International 4-8818 are different. They are a tall, strong
|
||
youth and their eyes are like fireflies, for there is laughter in
|
||
their eyes. We cannot look upon International 4-8818 and not
|
||
smile in answer. For this they were not liked in the Home of the
|
||
Students, as it is not proper to smile without reason. And also
|
||
they were not liked because they took pieces of coal and they
|
||
drew pictures upon the walls, and they were pictures which made
|
||
men laugh. But it is only our brothers in the Home of the Artists
|
||
who are permitted to draw pictures, so International 4-8818 were
|
||
sent to the Home of the Street Sweepers, like ourselves.
|
||
|
||
International 4-8818 and we are friends. This is an evil thing to
|
||
say, for it is a transgression, the great Transgression of
|
||
Preference, to love any among men better than the others, since
|
||
we must love all men and all men are our friends. So
|
||
International 4-8818 and we have never spoken of it. But we know.
|
||
We know, when we look into each other’s eyes. And when we look
|
||
thus without words, we both know other things also, strange
|
||
things for which there are no words, and these things frighten
|
||
us.
|
||
|
||
So on that day of the spring before last, Union 5-3992 were
|
||
stricken with convulsions on the edge of the City, near the City
|
||
Theatre. We left them to lie in the shade of the Theatre tent and
|
||
we went with International 4-8818 to finish our work. We came
|
||
together to the great ravine behind the Theatre. It is empty save
|
||
for trees and weeds. Beyond the ravine there is a plain, and
|
||
beyond the plain there lies the Uncharted Forest, about which men
|
||
must not think.
|
||
|
||
We were gathering the papers and the rags which the wind had
|
||
blown from the Theatre, when we saw an iron bar among the weeds.
|
||
It was old and rusted by many rains. We pulled with all our
|
||
strength, but we could not move it. So we called International
|
||
4-8818, and together we scraped the earth around the bar. Of a
|
||
sudden the earth fell in before us, and we saw an old iron grill
|
||
over a black hole.
|
||
|
||
International 4-8818 stepped back. But we pulled at the grill and
|
||
it gave way. And then we saw iron rings as steps leading down a
|
||
shaft into a darkness without bottom.
|
||
|
||
“We shall go down,” we said to International 4-8818.
|
||
|
||
“It is forbidden,” they answered.
|
||
|
||
We said: “The Council does not know of this hole, so it cannot be
|
||
forbidden.”
|
||
|
||
And they answered: “Since the Council does not know of this hole,
|
||
there can be no law permitting to enter it. And everything which
|
||
is not permitted by law is forbidden.”
|
||
|
||
But we said: “We shall go, none the less.”
|
||
|
||
They were frightened, but they stood by and watched us go.
|
||
|
||
We hung on the iron rings with our hands and our feet. We could
|
||
see nothing below us. And above us the hole open upon the sky
|
||
grew smaller and smaller, till it came to be the size of a
|
||
button. But still we went down. Then our foot touched the ground.
|
||
We rubbed our eyes, for we could not see. Then our eyes became
|
||
used to the darkness, but we could not believe what we saw.
|
||
|
||
No men known to us could have built this place, nor the men known
|
||
to our brothers who lived before us, and yet it was built by men.
|
||
It was a great tunnel. Its walls were hard and smooth to the
|
||
touch; it felt like stone, but it was not stone. On the ground
|
||
there were long thin tracks of iron, but it was not iron; it felt
|
||
smooth and cold as glass. We knelt, and we crawled forward, our
|
||
hand groping along the iron line to see where it would lead. But
|
||
there was an unbroken night ahead. Only the iron tracks glowed
|
||
through it, straight and white, calling us to follow. But we
|
||
could not follow, for we were losing the puddle of light behind
|
||
us. So we turned and we crawled back, our hand on the iron line.
|
||
And our heart beat in our fingertips, without reason. And then we
|
||
knew.
|
||
|
||
We knew suddenly that this place was left from the Unmentionable
|
||
Times. So it was true, and those Times had been, and all the
|
||
wonders of those Times. Hundreds upon hundreds of years ago men
|
||
knew secrets which we have lost. And we thought: “This is a foul
|
||
place. They are damned who touch the things of the Unmentionable
|
||
Times.” But our hand which followed the track, as we crawled,
|
||
clung to the iron as if it would not leave it, as if the skin of
|
||
our hand were thirsty and begging of the metal some secret fluid
|
||
beating in its coldness.
|
||
|
||
We returned to the earth. International 4-8818 looked upon us and
|
||
stepped back.
|
||
|
||
“Equality 7-2521,” they said, “your face is white.”
|
||
|
||
But we could not speak and we stood looking upon them.
|
||
|
||
They backed away, as if they dared not touch us. Then they
|
||
smiled, but it was not a gay smile; it was lost and pleading. But
|
||
still we could not speak. Then they said:
|
||
|
||
“We shall report our find to the City Council and both of us will
|
||
be rewarded.”
|
||
|
||
And then we spoke. Our voice was hard and there was no mercy in
|
||
our voice. We said:
|
||
|
||
“We shall not report our find to the City Council. We shall not
|
||
report it to any men.”
|
||
|
||
They raised their hands to their ears, for never had they heard
|
||
such words as these.
|
||
|
||
“International 4-8818,” we asked, “will you report us to the
|
||
Council and see us lashed to death before your eyes?”
|
||
|
||
They stood straight all of a sudden and they answered: “Rather
|
||
would we die.”
|
||
|
||
“Then,” we said, “keep silent. This place is ours. This place
|
||
belongs to us, Equality 7-2521, and to no other men on earth. And
|
||
if ever we surrender it, we shall surrender our life with it
|
||
also.”
|
||
|
||
Then we saw that the eyes of International 4-8818 were full to
|
||
the lids with tears they dared not drop. They whispered, and
|
||
their voice trembled, so that their words lost all shape:
|
||
|
||
“The will of the Council is above all things, for it is the will
|
||
of our brothers, which is holy. But if you wish it so, we shall
|
||
obey you. Rather shall we be evil with you than good with all our
|
||
brothers. May the Council have mercy upon both our hearts!”
|
||
|
||
Then we walked away together and back to the Home of the Street
|
||
Sweepers. And we walked in silence.
|
||
|
||
Thus did it come to pass that each night, when the stars are high
|
||
and the Street Sweepers sit in the City Theatre, we, Equality
|
||
7-2521, steal out and run through the darkness to our place. It
|
||
is easy to leave the Theatre; when the candles are blown out and
|
||
the Actors come onto the stage, no eyes can see us as we crawl
|
||
under our seat and under the cloth of the tent. Later, it is easy
|
||
to steal through the shadows and fall in line next to
|
||
International 4-8818, as the column leaves the Theatre. It is
|
||
dark in the streets and there are no men about, for no men may
|
||
walk through the City when they have no mission to walk there.
|
||
Each night, we run to the ravine, and we remove the stones which
|
||
we have piled upon the iron grill to hide it from the men. Each
|
||
night, for three hours, we are under the earth, alone.
|
||
|
||
We have stolen candles from the Home of the Street Sweepers, we
|
||
have stolen flints and knives and paper, and we have brought them
|
||
to this place. We have stolen glass vials and powders and acids
|
||
from the Home of the Scholars. Now we sit in the tunnel for three
|
||
hours each night and we study. We melt strange metals, and we mix
|
||
acids, and we cut open the bodies of the animals which we find in
|
||
the City Cesspool. We have built an oven of the bricks we
|
||
gathered in the streets. We burn the wood we find in the ravine.
|
||
The fire flickers in the oven and blue shadows dance upon the
|
||
walls, and there is no sound of men to disturb us.
|
||
|
||
We have stolen manuscripts. This is a great offense. Manuscripts
|
||
are precious, for our brothers in the Home of the Clerks spend
|
||
one year to copy one single script in their clear handwriting.
|
||
Manuscripts are rare and they are kept in the Home of the
|
||
Scholars. So we sit under the earth and we read the stolen
|
||
scripts. Two years have passed since we found this place. And in
|
||
these two years we have learned more than we had learned in the
|
||
ten years of the Home of the Students.
|
||
|
||
We have learned things which are not in the scripts. We have
|
||
solved secrets of which the Scholars have no knowledge. We have
|
||
come to see how great is the unexplored, and many lifetimes will
|
||
not bring us to the end of our quest. But we wish no end to our
|
||
quest. We wish nothing, save to be alone and to learn, and to
|
||
feel as if with each day our sight were growing sharper than the
|
||
hawk’s and clearer than rock crystal.
|
||
|
||
Strange are the ways of evil. We are false in the faces of our
|
||
brothers. We are defying the will of our Councils. We alone, of
|
||
the thousands who walk this earth, we alone in this hour are
|
||
doing a work which has no purpose save that we wish to do it. The
|
||
evil of our crime is not for the human mind to probe. The nure
|
||
of our punishment, if it be discovered, is not for the human
|
||
heart to ponder. Never, not in the memory of the Ancient Ones’
|
||
Ancients, never have men done that which we are doing.
|
||
|
||
And yet there is no shame in us and no regret. We say to
|
||
ourselves that we are a wretch and a traitor. But we feel no
|
||
burden upon our spirit and no fear in our heart. And it seems to
|
||
us that our spirit is clear as a lake troubled by no eyes save
|
||
those of the sun. And in our heart—strange are the ways of
|
||
evil!—in our heart there is the first peace we have known in
|
||
twenty years.
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
PART TWO
|
||
|
||
Liberty 5-3000... Liberty five-three thousand ... Liberty
|
||
5-3000....
|
||
|
||
We wish to write this name. We wish to speak it, but we dare not
|
||
speak it above a whisper. For men are forbidden to take notice of
|
||
women, and women are forbidden to take notice of men. But we
|
||
think of one among women, they whose name is Liberty 5-3000, and
|
||
we think of no others. The women who have been assigned to work
|
||
the soil live in the Homes of the Peasants beyond the City. Where
|
||
the City ends there is a great road winding off to the north, and
|
||
we Street Sweepers must keep this road clean to the first
|
||
milepost. There is a hedge along the road, and beyond the hedge
|
||
lie the fields. The fields are black and ploughed, and they lie
|
||
like a great fan before us, with their furrows gathered in some
|
||
hand beyond the sky, spreading forth from that hand, opening wide
|
||
apart as they come toward us, like black pleats that sparkle with
|
||
thin, green spangles. Women work in the fields, and their white
|
||
tunics in the wind are like the wings of sea-gulls beating over
|
||
the black soil.
|
||
|
||
And there it was that we saw Liberty 5-3000 walking along the
|
||
furrows. Their body was straight and thin as a blade of iron.
|
||
Their eyes were dark and hard and glowing, with no fear in them,
|
||
no kindness and no guilt. Their hair was golden as the sun; their
|
||
hair flew in the wind, shining and wild, as if it defied men to
|
||
restrain it. They threw seeds from their hand as if they deigned
|
||
to fling a scornful gift, and the earth was a beggar under their
|
||
feet.
|
||
|
||
We stood still; for the first time did we know fear, and then
|
||
pain. And we stood still that we might not spill this pain more
|
||
precious than pleasure.
|
||
|
||
Then we heard a voice from the others call their name: “Liberty
|
||
5-3000,” and they turned and walked back. Thus we learned their
|
||
name, and we stood watching them go, till their white tunic was
|
||
lost in the blue mist.
|
||
|
||
And the following day, as we came to the northern road, we kept
|
||
our eyes upon Liberty 5-3000 in the field. And each day
|
||
thereafter we knew the illness of waiting for our hour on the
|
||
northern road. And there we looked at Liberty 5-3000 each day. We
|
||
know not whether they looked at us also, but we think they did.
|
||
Then one day they came close to the hedge, and suddenly they
|
||
turned to us. They turned in a whirl and the movement of their
|
||
body stopped, as if slashed off, as suddenly as it had started.
|
||
They stood still as a stone, and they looked straight upon us,
|
||
straight into our eyes. There was no smile on their face, and no
|
||
welcome. But their face was taut, and their eyes were dark. Then
|
||
they turned as swiftly, and they walked away from us.
|
||
|
||
But the following day, when we came to the road, they smiled.
|
||
They smiled to us and for us. And we smiled in answer. Their head
|
||
fell back, and their arms fell, as if their arms and their thin
|
||
white neck were stricken suddenly with a great lassitude. They
|
||
were not looking upon us, but upon the sky. Then they glanced at
|
||
us over their shoulder, as we felt as if a hand had touched our
|
||
body, slipping softly from our lips to our feet.
|
||
|
||
Every morning thereafter, we greeted each other with our eyes. We
|
||
dared not speak. It is a transgression to speak to men of other
|
||
Trades, save in groups at the Social Meetings. But once, standing
|
||
at the hedge, we raised our hand to our forehead and then moved
|
||
it slowly, palm down, toward Liberty 5-3000. Had the others seen
|
||
it, they could have guessed nothing, for it looked only as if we
|
||
were shading our eyes from the sun. But Liberty 5-3000 saw it and
|
||
understood. They raised their hand to their forehead and moved it
|
||
as we had. Thus, each day, we greet Liberty 5-3000, and they
|
||
answer, and no men can suspect.
|
||
|
||
We do not wonder at this new sin of ours. It is our second
|
||
Transgression of Preference, for we do not think of all our
|
||
brothers, as we must, but only of one, and their name is Liberty
|
||
5-3000. We do not know why we think of them. We do not know why,
|
||
when we think of them, we feel all of a sudden that the earth is
|
||
good and that it is not a burden to live. We do not think of them
|
||
as Liberty 5-3000 any longer. We have given them a name in our
|
||
thoughts. We call them the Golden One. But it is a sin to give
|
||
men names which distinguish them from other men. Yet we call them
|
||
the Golden One, for they are not like the others. The Golden One
|
||
are not like the others.
|
||
|
||
And we take no heed of the law which says that men may not think
|
||
of women, save at the Time of Mating. This is the time each
|
||
spring when all the men older than twenty and all the women older
|
||
than eighteen are sent for one night to the City Palace of
|
||
Mating. And each of the men have one of the women assigned to
|
||
them by the Council of Eugenics. Children are born each winter,
|
||
but women never see their children and children never know their
|
||
parents. Twice have we been sent to the Palace of Mating, but it
|
||
is an ugly and shameful matter, of which we do not like to think.
|
||
|
||
We had broken so many laws, and today we have broken one more.
|
||
Today, we spoke to the Golden One.
|
||
|
||
The other women were far off in the field, when we stopped at the
|
||
hedge by the side of the road. The Golden One were kneeling alone
|
||
at the moat which runs through the field. And the drops of water
|
||
falling from their hands, as they raised the water to their lips,
|
||
were like sparks of fire in the sun. Then the Golden One saw us,
|
||
and they did not move, kneeling there, looking at us, and circles
|
||
of light played upon their white tunic, from the sun on the water
|
||
of the moat, and one sparkling drop fell from a finger of their
|
||
hand held as frozen in the air.
|
||
|
||
Then the Golden One rose and walked to the hedge, as if they had
|
||
heard a command in our eyes. The two other Street Sweepers of our
|
||
brigade were a hundred paces away down the road. And we thought
|
||
that International 4-8818 would not betray us, and Union 5-3992
|
||
would not understand. So we looked straight upon the Golden One,
|
||
and we saw the shadows of their lashes on their white cheeks and
|
||
the sparks of sun on their lips. And we said:
|
||
|
||
“You are beautiful, Liberty 5-3000.”
|
||
|
||
Their face did not move and they did not avert their eyes. Only
|
||
their eyes grew wider, and there was triumph in their eyes, and
|
||
it was not triumph over us, but over things we could not guess.
|
||
|
||
Then they asked:
|
||
|
||
“What is your name?”
|
||
|
||
“Equality 7-2521,” we answered.
|
||
|
||
“You are not one of our brothers, Equality 7-2521, for we do n
|
||
wish you to be.”
|
||
|
||
We cannot say what they meant, for there are no words for their
|
||
meaning, but we know it without words and we knew it then.
|
||
|
||
“No,” we answered, “nor are you one of our sisters.”
|
||
|
||
“If you see us among scores of women, will you look upon us?”
|
||
|
||
“We shall look upon you, Liberty 5-3000, if we see you among all
|
||
the women of the earth.”
|
||
|
||
Then they asked:
|
||
|
||
“Are Street Sweepers sent to different parts of the City or do
|
||
they always work in the same places?”
|
||
|
||
“They always work in the same places,” we answered, “and no one
|
||
will take this road away from us.”
|
||
|
||
“Your eyes,” they said, “are not like the eyes of any among men.”
|
||
|
||
And suddenly, without cause for the thought which came to us, we
|
||
felt cold, cold to our stomach.
|
||
|
||
“How old are you?” we asked.
|
||
|
||
They understood our thought, for they lowered their eyes for the
|
||
first time.
|
||
|
||
“Seventeen,” they whispered.
|
||
|
||
And we sighed, as if a burden had been taken from us, for we had
|
||
been thinking without reason of the Palace of Mating. And we
|
||
thought that we would not let the Golden One be sent to the
|
||
Palace. How to prevent it, how to bar the will of the Councils,
|
||
we knew not, but we knew suddenly that we would. Only we do not
|
||
know why such thought came to us, for these ugly matters bear no
|
||
relation to us and the Golden One. What relation can they bear?
|
||
|
||
Still, without reason, as we stood there by the hedge, we felt
|
||
our lips drawn tight with hatred, a sudden hatred for all our
|
||
brother men. And the Golden One saw it and smiled slowly, and
|
||
there was in their smile the first sadness we had seen in them.
|
||
We think that in the wisdom of women the Golden One had
|
||
understood more than we can understand.
|
||
|
||
Then three of the sisters in the field appeared, coming toward
|
||
the road, so the Golden One walked away from us. They took the
|
||
bag of seeds, and they threw the seeds into the furrows of earth
|
||
as they walked away. But the seeds flew wildly, for the hand of
|
||
the Golden One was trembling.
|
||
|
||
Yet as we walked back to the Home of the Street Sweepers, we felt
|
||
that we wanted to sing, without reason. So we were reprimanded
|
||
tonight, in the dining hall, for without knowing it we had begun
|
||
to sing aloud some tune we had never heard. But it is not proper
|
||
to sing without reason, save at the Social Meetings.
|
||
|
||
“We are singing because we are happy,” we answered the one of the
|
||
Home Council who reprimanded us.
|
||
|
||
“Indeed you are happy,” they answered. “How else can men be when
|
||
they live for their brothers?”
|
||
|
||
And now, sitting here in our tunnel, we wonder about these words.
|
||
It is forbidden, not to be happy. For, as it has been explained
|
||
to us, men are free and the earth belongs to them; and all things
|
||
on earth belong to all men; and the will of all men together is
|
||
good for all; and so all men must be happy.
|
||
|
||
Yet as we stand at night in the great hall, removing our garments
|
||
for sleep, we look upon our brothers and we wonder. The heads of
|
||
our brothers are bowed. The eyes of our brothers are dull, and
|
||
never do they look one another in the eyes. The shoulders of our
|
||
brothers are hunched, and their muscles are drawn, as if their
|
||
bodies were shrinking and wished to shrink out of sight. And a
|
||
word steals into our mind, as we look upon our brothers, and that
|
||
word is fear.
|
||
|
||
There is fear hanging in the air of the sleeping halls, and in
|
||
the air of the streets. Fear walks through the City, fear without
|
||
name, without shape. All men feel it and none dare to speak.
|
||
|
||
We feel it also, when we are in the Home of the Street Sweepers.
|
||
But here, in our tunnel, we feel it no longer. The air is pure
|
||
under the ground. There is no odor of men. And these three hours
|
||
give us strength for our hours above the ground.
|
||
|
||
Our body is betraying us, for the Council of the Home looks with
|
||
suspicion upon us. It is not good to feel too much joy nor to be
|
||
glad that our body lives. For we matter not and it must not
|
||
matter to us whether we live or die, which is to be as our
|
||
brothers will it. But we, Equality 7-2521, are glad to be living.
|
||
If this is a vice, then we wish no virtue.
|
||
|
||
Yet our brothers are not like us. All is not well with our
|
||
brothers. There are Fraternity 2-5503, a quiet boy with wise,
|
||
kind eyes, who cry suddenly, without reason, in the midst of day
|
||
or night, and their body shakes with sobs they cannot explain.
|
||
There are Solidarity 9-6347, who are a bright youth, without fear
|
||
in the day; but they scream in their sleep, and they scream:
|
||
“Help us! Help us! Help us!” into the night, in a voice which
|
||
chills our bones, but the Doctors cannot cure Solidarity 9-6347.
|
||
|
||
And as we all undress at night, in the dim light of the candles,
|
||
our brothers are silent, for they dare not speak the thoughts of
|
||
their minds. For all must agree with all, and they cannot know if
|
||
their thoughts are the thoughts of all, and so they fear to
|
||
speak. And they are glad when the candles are blown for the
|
||
night. But we, Equality 7-2521, look through the window upon the
|
||
sky, and there is peace in the sky, and cleanliness, and dignity.
|
||
And beyond the City there lies the plain, and beyond the plain,
|
||
black upon the black sky, there lies the Uncharted Forest.
|
||
|
||
We do not wish to look upon the Uncharted Forest. We do not wish
|
||
to think of it. But ever do our eyes return to that black patch
|
||
upon the sky. Men never enter the Uncharted Forest, for there is
|
||
no power to explore it and no path to lead among its ancient
|
||
trees which stand as guards of fearful secrets. It is whispered
|
||
that once or twice in a hundred years, one among the men of the
|
||
City escape alone and run to the Uncharted Forest, without call
|
||
or reason. These men do not return. They perish from hunger and
|
||
from the claws of the wild beasts which roam the Forest. But our
|
||
Councils say that this is only a legend. We have heard that there
|
||
are many Uncharted Forests over the land, among the Cities. And
|
||
it is whispered that they have grown over the ruins of many
|
||
cities of the Unmentionable Times. The trees have swallowed the
|
||
ruins, and the bones under the ruins, and all the things which
|
||
perished. And as we look upon the Uncharted Forest far in the
|
||
night, we think of the secrets of the Unmentionable Times. And we
|
||
wonder how it came to pass that these secrets were lost to the
|
||
world. We have heard the legends of the great fighting, in which
|
||
many men fought on one side and only a few on the other. These
|
||
few were the Evil Ones and they were conquered. Then great fires
|
||
raged over the land. And in these fires the Evil Ones and all the
|
||
things made by the Evil Ones were burned. And the fire which is
|
||
called the Dawn of the Great Rebirth, was the Script Fire where
|
||
all the scripts of the Evil Ones were burned, and with them all
|
||
the words of the Evil Ones. Great mountains of flame stood in the
|
||
squares of the Cities for three months. Then came the Great
|
||
Rebirth.
|
||
|
||
The words of the Evil Ones... The words of the Unmentionable
|
||
Times... What are the words which we have lost?
|
||
|
||
May the Council have mercy upon us! We had no wish to write such
|
||
a question, and we knew not what we were doing till we had
|
||
written it. We shall not ask this question and we shall not think
|
||
it. We shall not call death upon our head.
|
||
|
||
And yet... And yet... There is some word, one single word which
|
||
is not in the language of men, but which had been. And this is
|
||
the Unspeakable Word, which no men may speak nor hear. But
|
||
sometimes, and it is rare, sometimes, somewhere, one among men
|
||
finhat word. They find it upon scraps of old manuscripts or
|
||
cut into the fragments of ancient stones. But when they speak it
|
||
they are put to death. There is no crime punished by death in
|
||
this world, save this one crime of speaking the Unspeakable Word.
|
||
|
||
We have seen one of such men burned alive in the square of the
|
||
City. And it was a sight which has stayed with us through the
|
||
years, and it haunts us, and follows us, and it gives us no rest.
|
||
We were a child then, ten years old. And we stood in the great
|
||
square with all the children and all the men of the City, sent to
|
||
behold the burning. They brought the Transgressor out into the
|
||
square and they led them to the pyre. They had torn out the
|
||
tongue of the Transgressor, so that they could speak no longer.
|
||
The Transgressor were young and tall. They had hair of gold and
|
||
eyes blue as morning. They walked to the pyre, and their step did
|
||
not falter. And of all the faces on that square, of all the faces
|
||
which shrieked and screamed and spat curses upon them, theirs was
|
||
the calmest and the happiest face.
|
||
|
||
As the chains were wound over their body at the stake, and a
|
||
flame set to the pyre, the Transgressor looked upon the City.
|
||
There was a thin thread of blood running from the corner of their
|
||
mouth, but their lips were smiling. And a monstrous thought came
|
||
to us then, which has never left us. We had heard of Saints.
|
||
There are the Saints of Labor, and the Saints of the Councils,
|
||
and the Saints of the Great Rebirth. But we had never seen a
|
||
Saint nor what the likeness of a Saint should be. And we thought
|
||
then, standing in the square, that the likeness of a Saint was
|
||
the face we saw before us in the flames, the face of the
|
||
Transgressor of the Unspeakable Word.
|
||
|
||
As the flames rose, a thing happened which no eyes saw but ours,
|
||
else we would not be living today. Perhaps it had only seemed to
|
||
us. But it seemed to us that the eyes of the Transgressor had
|
||
chosen us from the crowd and were looking straight upon us. There
|
||
was no pain in their eyes and no knowledge of the agony of their
|
||
body. There was only joy in them, and pride, a pride holier than
|
||
is fit for human pride to be. And it seemed as if these eyes were
|
||
trying to tell us something through the flames, to send into our
|
||
eyes some word without sound. And it seemed as if these eyes were
|
||
begging us to gather that word and not to let it go from us and
|
||
from the earth. But the flames rose and we could not guess the
|
||
word....
|
||
|
||
What—even if we have to burn for it like the Saint of the
|
||
Pyre—what is the Unspeakable Word?
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
PART THREE
|
||
|
||
We, Equality 7-2521, have discovered a new power of nature. And
|
||
we have discovered it alone, and we alone are to know it.
|
||
|
||
It is said. Now let us be lashed for it, if we must. The Council
|
||
of Scholars has said that we all know the things which exist and
|
||
therefore the things which are not known by all do not exist. But
|
||
we think that the Council of Scholars is blind. The secrets of
|
||
this earth are not for all men to see, but only for those who
|
||
will seek them. We know, for we have found a secret unknown to
|
||
all our brothers.
|
||
|
||
We know not what this power is nor whence it comes. But we know
|
||
its nature, we have watched it and worked with it. We saw it
|
||
first two years ago. One night, we were cutting open the body of
|
||
a dead frog when we saw its leg jerking. It was dead, yet it
|
||
moved. Some power unknown to men was making it move. We could not
|
||
understand it. Then, after many tests, we found the answer. The
|
||
frog had been hanging on a wire of copper; and it had been the
|
||
metal of our knife which had sent the strange power to the copper
|
||
through the brine of the frog’s body. We put a piece of copper
|
||
and a piece of zinc into a jar of brine, we touched a wire to
|
||
them, and there, under our fingers, was a miracle which had never
|
||
occurred before, a new miracle and a new power.
|
||
|
||
This discovery haunted us. We followed it in preference to all
|
||
our studies. We worked with it, we tested it in more ways than we
|
||
can describe, and each step was as another miracle unveiling
|
||
before us. We came to know that we had found the greatest power
|
||
on earth. For it defies all the laws known to men. It makes the
|
||
needle move and turn on the compass which we stole from the Home
|
||
of the Scholars; but we had been taught, when still a child, that
|
||
the loadstone points to the north and that this is a law which
|
||
nothing can change; yet our new power defies all laws. We found
|
||
that it causes lightning, and never have men known what causes
|
||
lightning. In thunderstorms, we raised a tall rod of iron by the
|
||
side of our hole, and we watched it from below. We have seen the
|
||
lightning strike it again and again. And now we know that metal
|
||
draws the power of the sky, and that metal can be made to give it
|
||
forth.
|
||
|
||
We have built strange things with this discovery of ours. We used
|
||
for it the copper wires which we found here under the ground. We
|
||
have walked the length of our tunnel, with a candle lighting the
|
||
way. We could go no farther than half a mile, for earth and rock
|
||
had fallen at both ends. But we gathered all the things we found
|
||
and we brought them to our work place. We found strange boxes
|
||
with bars of metal inside, with many cords and strands and coils
|
||
of metal. We found wires that led to strange little globes of
|
||
glass on the walls; they contained threads of metal thinner than
|
||
a spider’s web.
|
||
|
||
These things help us in our work. We do not understand them, but
|
||
we think that the men of picoCTF{gr3p_15_@w3s0m3_4c479940}
|
||
our
|
||
power of the sky, and these things had some relation to it. We do
|
||
not know, but we shall learn. We cannot stop now, even though it
|
||
frightens us that we are alone in our knowledge.
|
||
|
||
No single one can possess greater wisdom than the many Scholars
|
||
who are elected by all men for their wisdom. Yet we can. We do.
|
||
We have fought against saying it, but now it is said. We do not
|
||
care. We forget all men, all laws and all things save our metals
|
||
and our wires. So much is still to be learned! So long a road
|
||
lies before us, and what care we if we must travel it alone!
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
PART FOUR
|
||
|
||
Many days passed before we could speak to the Golden One again.
|
||
But then came the day when the sky turned white, as if the sun
|
||
had burst and spread its flame in the air, and the fields lay
|
||
still without breath, and the dust of the road was white in the
|
||
glow. So the women of the field were weary, and they tarried over
|
||
their work, and they were far from the road when we came. But the
|
||
Golden One stood alone at the hedge, waiting. We stopped and we
|
||
saw that their eyes, so hard and scornful to the world, were
|
||
looking at us as if they would obey any word we might speak.
|
||
|
||
And we said:
|
||
|
||
“We have given you a name in our thoughts, Liberty 5-3000.”
|
||
|
||
“What is our name?” they asked.
|
||
|
||
“The Golden One.”
|
||
|
||
“Nor do we call you Equality 7-2521 when we think of you.”
|
||
|
||
“What name have you given us?” They looked straight into our eyes
|
||
and they held their head high and they answered:
|
||
|
||
“The Unconquered.”
|
||
|
||
For a long ti we could not speak. Then we said:
|
||
|
||
“Such thoughts as these are forbidden, Golden One.”
|
||
|
||
“But you think such thoughts as these and you wish us to think
|
||
them.”
|
||
|
||
We looked into their eyes and we could not lie.
|
||
|
||
“Yes,” we whispered, and they smiled, and then we said: “Our
|
||
dearest one, do not obey us.”
|
||
|
||
They stepped back, and their eyes were wide and still.
|
||
|
||
“Speak these words again,” they whispered.
|
||
|
||
“Which words?” we asked. But they did not answer, and we knew it.
|
||
|
||
“Our dearest one,” we whispered.
|
||
|
||
Never have men said this to women.
|
||
|
||
The head of the Golden One bowed slowly, and they stood still
|
||
before us, their arms at their sides, the palms of their hands
|
||
turned to us, as if their body were delivered in submission to
|
||
our eyes. And we could not speak.
|
||
|
||
Then they raised their head, and they spoke simply and gently, as
|
||
if they wished us to forget some anxiety of their own.
|
||
|
||
“The day is hot,” they said, “and you have worked for many hours
|
||
and you must be weary.”
|
||
|
||
“No,” we answered.
|
||
|
||
“It is cooler in the fields,” they said, “and there is water to
|
||
drink. Are you thirsty?”
|
||
|
||
“Yes,” we answered, “but we cannot cross the hedge.”
|
||
|
||
“We shall bring the water to you,” they said.
|
||
|
||
Then they knelt by the moat, they gathered water in their two
|
||
hands, they rose and they held the water out to our lips.
|
||
|
||
We do not know if we drank that water. We only knew suddenly that
|
||
their hands were empty, but we were still holding our lips to
|
||
their hands, and that they knew it, but did not move.
|
||
|
||
We raised our head and stepped back. For we did not understand
|
||
what had made us do this, and we were afraid to understand it.
|
||
|
||
And the Golden One stepped back, and stood looking upon their
|
||
hands in wonder. Then the Golden One moved away, even though no
|
||
others were coming, and they moved, stepping back, as if they
|
||
could not turn from us, their arms bent before them, as if they
|
||
could not lower their hands.
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
PART FIVE
|
||
|
||
We made it. We created it. We brought it forth from the night of
|
||
the ages. We alone. Our hands. Our mind. Ours alone and only.
|
||
|
||
We know not what we are saying. Our head is reeling. We look upon
|
||
the light which we have made. We shall be forgiven for anything
|
||
we say tonight....
|
||
|
||
Tonight, after more days and trials than we can count, we
|
||
finished building a strange thing, from the remains of the
|
||
Unmentionable Times, a box of glass, devised to give forth the
|
||
power of the sky of greater strength than we had ever achieved
|
||
before. And when we put our wires to this box, when we closed the
|
||
current—the wire glowed! It came to life, it turned red, and a
|
||
circle of light lay on the stone before us.
|
||
|
||
We stood, and we held our head in our hands. We could not
|
||
conceive of that which we had created. We had touched no flint,
|
||
made no fire. Yet here was light, light that came from nowhere,
|
||
light from the heart of metal.
|
||
|
||
We blew out the candle. Darkness swallowed us. There was nothing
|
||
left around us, nothing save night and a thin thread of flame in
|
||
it, as a crack in the wall of a prison. We stretched our hands to
|
||
the wire, and we saw our fingers in the red glow. We could not
|
||
see our body nor feel it, and in that moment nothing existed save
|
||
our two hands over a wire glowing in a black abyss.
|
||
|
||
Then we thought of the meaning of that which lay before us. We
|
||
can light our tunnel, and the City, and all the Cities of the
|
||
world with nothing save metal and wires. We can give our brothers
|
||
a new light, cleaner and brighter than any they have ever known.
|
||
The power of the sky can be made to do men’s bidding. There are
|
||
no limits to its secrets and its might, and it can be made to
|
||
grant us anything if we but choose to ask.
|
||
|
||
Then we knew what we must do. Our discovery is too great for us
|
||
to waste our time in sweeping the streets. We must not keep our
|
||
secret to ourselves, nor buried under the ground. We must bring
|
||
it into the sight of all men. We need all our time, we need the
|
||
work rooms of the Home of the Scholars, we want the help of our
|
||
brother Scholars and their wisdom joined to ours. There is so
|
||
much work ahead for all of us, for all the Scholars of the world.
|
||
|
||
In a month, the World Council of Scholars is to meet in our City.
|
||
It is a great Council, to which the wisest of all lands are
|
||
elected, and it meets once a year in the different Cities of the
|
||
earth. We shall go to this Council and we shall lay before them,
|
||
as our gift, this glass box with the power of the sky. We shall
|
||
confess everything to them. They will see, understand and
|
||
forgive. For our gift is greater than our transgression. They
|
||
will explain it to the Council of Vocations, and we shall be
|
||
assigned to the Home of the Scholars. This has never been done
|
||
before, but neither has a gift such as ours ever been offered to
|
||
men.
|
||
|
||
We must wait. We must guard our tunnel as we had never guarded it
|
||
before. For should any men save the Scholars learn of our secret,
|
||
they would not understand it, nor would they believe us. They
|
||
would see nothing, save our crime of working alone, and they
|
||
would destroy us and our light. We care not about our body, but
|
||
our light is...
|
||
|
||
Yes, we do care. For the first time do we care about our body.
|
||
For this wire is as a part of our body, as a vein torn from us,
|
||
glowing with our blood. Are we proud of this thread of metal, or
|
||
of our hands which made it, or is there a line to divide these
|
||
two?
|
||
|
||
We stretch out our arms. For the first time do we know how strong
|
||
our arms are. And a strange thought comes to us: we wonder, for
|
||
the first time in our life, what we look like. Men never see
|
||
their own faces and never ask their brothers about it, for it is
|
||
evil to have concern for their own faces or bodies. But tonight,
|
||
for a reason we cannot fathom, we wish it were possible to us to
|
||
know the likeness of our own person.
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
PART SIX
|
||
|
||
We have not written for thirty days. For thirty days we have not
|
||
been here, in our tunnel. We had been caught. It happened on that
|
||
night when we wrote last. We forgot, that night, to watch the
|
||
sand in the glass which tells us when three hours have passed and
|
||
it is time to return to the City Theatre. When we remembered it,
|
||
the sand had run out.
|
||
|
||
We hastened to the Theatre. But the big tent stood grey and
|
||
silent against the sky. The streets of the City lay before us,
|
||
dark and empty. If we went back to hide in our tunnel, we would
|
||
be found and our light found with us. So we walked to the Home of
|
||
the Street Sweepers.
|
||
|
||
When the Council of the Home questioned us, we looked upon the
|
||
faces of the Council, but there was no curiosity in those faces,
|
||
and no anger, and no mercy. So when the oldest of them asked us:
|
||
“Where have you been?” we thought of our glass box and of our
|
||
light, and we forgot all else. And we answered:
|
||
|
||
“We will not tell you.”
|
||
|
||
The oldest did not question us further. They turned to the two
|
||
youngest, and said, and their voice was bored:
|
||
|
||
“Take our brother Equality 7-2521 to the Palace of Corrective
|
||
Detention. Lash them until they tell.”
|
||
|
||
So we were taken to the Stone Room under the Palace of Corrective
|
||
Detention. This room has no windows and it is empty save for an
|
||
iron post. Two men stood by the post, naked but for leather
|
||
aprons and leather hoods over their faces. Those who had brought
|
||
us departed, leaving us to the two Judges who stood in a corner
|
||
of the room. The Judges were small, thin men, grey and bent. They
|
||
gave the signal to the two strong hooded ones.
|
||
|
||
They tore the clothes from our body, they threw us down upon our
|
||
knees and they tied our hands to the iron post. The first blow of
|
||
the lash felt as if our spine had been cut in two. The second
|
||
blow stopped the first, and for a second we felt nothing, then
|
||
the pain struck us in our throat and fire ran in our lungs
|
||
without air. But we did not cry out.
|
||
|
||
The lash whistled like a singing wind. We tried to count the
|
||
blows, but we lost count. We knew that the blows were falling
|
||
upon our back. Only we felt nothing upon our back any longer. A
|
||
flaming grill kept dancing before our eyes, and we thought of
|
||
nothing save that grill, a grill, a grill of red squares, and
|
||
then we knew that we were looking at the squares of the iron
|
||
grill in the door, and there were also the squares of stone on
|
||
the walls, and the squares which the lash was cutting upon our
|
||
back, crossing and re-crossing itself in our flesh.
|
||
|
||
Then we saw a fist before us. It knocked our chin up, and we saw
|
||
the red froth of our mouth on the withered fingers, and the Judge
|
||
asked:
|
||
|
||
“Where have you been?”
|
||
|
||
But we jerked our head away, hid our face upon our tied hands,
|
||
and bit our lips.
|
||
|
||
The lash whistled again. We wondered who was sprinkling burning
|
||
coal dust upon the floor, for we saw drops of red twinkling on
|
||
the stones around us.
|
||
|
||
Then we knew nothing, save two voices snarling steadily, one
|
||
after the other, even though we knew they were speaking many
|
||
minutes apart:
|
||
|
||
“Where have you been where have you been where have you been
|
||
where have you been?...”
|
||
|
||
And our lips moved, but the sound trickled back into our throat,
|
||
and the sound was only:
|
||
|
||
“The light... The light... The light....”
|
||
|
||
Then we knew nothing.
|
||
|
||
We opened our eyes, lying on our stomach on the brick floor of a
|
||
cell. We looked upon two hands lying far before us on the bricks,
|
||
and we moved them, and we knew that they were our hands. But we
|
||
could not move our body. Then we smiled, for we thought of the
|
||
light and that we had not betrayed it.
|
||
|
||
We lay in our cell for many days. The door opened twice each day,
|
||
once for the men who brought us bread and water, and once for the
|
||
Judges. Many Judges came to our cell, first the humblest and then
|
||
the most honored Judges of the City. They stood before us in
|
||
their white togas, and they asked:
|
||
|
||
“Are you ready to speak?”
|
||
|
||
But we shook our head, lying before them on the floor. And they
|
||
departed.
|
||
|
||
We counted each day and each night as it passed. Then, tonight,
|
||
we knew that we must escape. For tomorrow the World Council of
|
||
Scholars is to meet in our City.
|
||
|
||
It was easy to escape from the Palace of Corrective Detention.
|
||
The locks are old on the doors and there are no guards about.
|
||
There is no reason to have guards, for men have never defied the
|
||
Councils so far as to escape from whatever place they were
|
||
ordered to be. Our body is healthy and strength returns to it
|
||
speedily. We lunged against the door and it gave way. We stole
|
||
through the dark passages, and through the dark streets, and down
|
||
into our tunnel.
|
||
|
||
We lit the candle and we saw that our place had not been found
|
||
and nothing had been touched. And our glass box stood before us
|
||
on the cold oven, as we had left it. What matter they now, the
|
||
scars upon our back!
|
||
|
||
Tomorrow, in the full light of day, we shall take our box, and
|
||
leave our tunnel open, and walk through the streets to the Home
|
||
of the Scholars. We shall put before them the greatest gift ever
|
||
offered to men. We shall tell them the truth. We shall hand to
|
||
them, as our confession, these pages we have written. We shall
|
||
join our hands to theirs, and we shall work together, with the
|
||
power of the sky, for the glory of mankind. Our blessing upon
|
||
you, our brothers! Tomorrow, you will take us back into your fold
|
||
and we shall be an outcast no longer. Tomorrow we shall be one of
|
||
you again. Tomorrow...
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
PART SEVEN
|
||
|
||
It is dark here in the forest. The leaves rustle over our head,
|
||
black against the last gold of the sky. The moss is soft and
|
||
warm. We shall sleep on this moss for many nights, till the
|
||
beasts of the forest come to tear our body. We have no bed now,
|
||
save the moss, and no future, save the beasts.
|
||
|
||
We are old now, yet we were young this morning, when we carried
|
||
our glass box through the streets of the City to the Home of the
|
||
Scholars. No men stopped us, for there were none about from the
|
||
Palace of Corrective Detention, and the others knew nothing. No
|
||
men stopped us at the gate. We walked through empty passages and
|
||
into the great hall where the World Council of Scholars sat in
|
||
solemn meeting.
|
||
|
||
We saw nothing as we entered, save the sky in the great windows,
|
||
blue and glowing. Then we saw the Scholars who sat around a long
|
||
table; they were as shapeless clouds huddled at the rise of the
|
||
great sky. There were men whose famous names we knew, and others
|
||
from distant lands whose names we had not heard. We saw a great
|
||
painting on the wall over their heads, of the twenty illustrious
|
||
men who had invented the candle.
|
||
|
||
All the heads of the Council turned to us as we entered. These
|
||
great and wise of the earth did not know what to think of us, and
|
||
they looked upon us with wonder and curiosity, as if we were a
|
||
miracle. It is true that our tunic was torn and stained with
|
||
brown stains which had been blood. We raised our right arm and we
|
||
said:
|
||
|
||
“Our greeting to you, our honored brothers of the World Council
|
||
of Scholars!”
|
||
|
||
Then Collective 0-0009, the oldest and wisest of the Council,
|
||
spoke and asked:
|
||
|
||
“Who are you, our brother? For you do not look like a Scholar.”
|
||
|
||
“Our name is Equality 7-2521,” we answered, “and we are a Street
|
||
Sweeper of this City.”
|
||
|
||
Then it was as if a great wind had stricken the hall, for all the
|
||
Scholars spoke at once, and they were angry and frightened.
|
||
|
||
“A Street Sweeper! A Street Sweeper walking in upon the World
|
||
Council of Scholars! It is not to be believed! It is against all
|
||
the rules and all the laws!”
|
||
|
||
But we knew how to stop them.
|
||
|
||
“Our brothers!” we said. “We matter not, nor our transgression.
|
||
It is only our brother men who matter. Give no thought to us, for
|
||
we are nothing, but listen to our words, for we bring you a gift
|
||
such as had never been brought to men. Listen to us, for we hold
|
||
the future of mankind in our hands.”
|
||
|
||
Then they listened.
|
||
|
||
We placed our glass box upon the table before them. We spoke of
|
||
it, and of our long quest, and of our tunnel, and of our escape
|
||
from the Palace of Corrective Detention. Not a hand moved inhat
|
||
hall, as we spoke, nor an eye. Then we put the wires to the box,
|
||
and they all bent forward and sat still, watching. And we stood
|
||
still, our eyes upon the wire. And slowly, slowly as a flush of
|
||
blood, a red flame trembled in the wire. Then the wire glowed.
|
||
|
||
But terror struck the men of the Council. They leapt to their
|
||
feet, they ran from the table, and they stood pressed against the
|
||
wall, huddled together, seeking the warmth of one another’s
|
||
bodies to give them courage.
|
||
|
||
We looked upon them and we laughed and said:
|
||
|
||
“Fear nothing, our brothers. There is a great power in these
|
||
wires, but this power is tamed. It is yours. We give it to you.”
|
||
|
||
Still they would not move.
|
||
|
||
“We give you the power of the sky!” we cried. “We give you the
|
||
key to the earth! Take it, and let us be one of you, the humblest
|
||
among you. Let us all work together, and harness this power, and
|
||
make it ease the toil of men. Let us throw away our candles and
|
||
our torches. Let us flood our cities with light. Let us bring a
|
||
new light to men!”
|
||
|
||
But they looked upon us, and suddenly we were afraid. For their
|
||
eyes were still, and small, and evil.
|
||
|
||
“Our brothers!” we cried. “Have you nothing to say to us?”
|
||
|
||
Then Collective 0-0009 moved forward. They moved to the table and
|
||
the others followed.
|
||
|
||
“Yes,” spoke Collective 0-0009, “we have much to say to you.”
|
||
|
||
The sound of their voices brought silence to the hall and to beat
|
||
of our heart.
|
||
|
||
“Yes,” said Collective 0-0009, “we have much to say to a wretch
|
||
who have broken all the laws and who boast of their infamy!
|
||
|
||
“How dared you think that your mind held greater wisdom than the
|
||
minds of your brothers? And if the Councils had decreed that you
|
||
should be a Street Sweeper, how dared you think that you could be
|
||
of greater use to men than in sweeping the streets?”
|
||
|
||
“How dared you, gutter cleaner,” spoke Fraternity 9-3452, “to
|
||
hold yourself as one alone and with the thoughts of the one and
|
||
not of the many?”
|
||
|
||
“You shall be burned at the stake,” said Democracy 4-6998.
|
||
|
||
“No, they shall be lashed,” said Unanimity 7-3304, “till there is
|
||
nothing left under the lashes.”
|
||
|
||
“No,” said Collective 0-0009, “we cannot decide upon this, our
|
||
brothers. No such crime has ever been committed, and it is not
|
||
for us to judge. Nor for any small Council. We shall deliver this
|
||
creature to the World Council itself and let their will be done.”
|
||
|
||
We looked upon them and we pleaded:
|
||
|
||
“Our brothers! You are right. Let the will of the Council be done
|
||
upon our body. We do not care. But the light? What will you do
|
||
with the light?”
|
||
|
||
Collective 0-0009 looked upon us, and they smiled.
|
||
|
||
“So you think that you have found a new power,” said Collective
|
||
0-0009. “Do all your brothers think that?”
|
||
|
||
“No,” we answered.
|
||
|
||
“What is not thought by all men cannot be true,” said Collective
|
||
0-0009.
|
||
|
||
“You have worked on this alone?” asked International 1-5537.
|
||
|
||
“Many men in the Homes of the Scholars have had strange new ideas
|
||
in the past,” said Solidarity 8-1164, “but when the majority of
|
||
their brother Scholars voted against them, they abandoned their
|
||
ideas, as all men must.”
|
||
|
||
“This box is useless,” said Alliance 6-7349.
|
||
|
||
“Should it be what they claim of it,” said Harmony 9-2642, “then
|
||
it would bring ruin to the Department of Candles. The Candle is a
|
||
great boon to mankind, as approved by all men. Therefore it
|
||
cannot be destroyed by the whim of one.”
|
||
|
||
“This would wreck the Plans of the World Council,” said Unanimity
|
||
2-9913, “and without the Plans of the World Council the sun
|
||
cannot rise. It took fifty years to secure the approval of all
|
||
the Councils for the Candle, and to dece upon the number
|
||
needed, and to re-fit the Plans so as to make candles instead of
|
||
torches. This touched upon thousands and thousands of men working
|
||
in scores of States. We cannot alter the Plans again so soon.”
|
||
|
||
“And if this should lighten the toil of men,” said Similarity
|
||
5-0306, “then it is a great evil, for men have no cause to exist
|
||
save in toiling for other men.”
|
||
|
||
Then Collective 0-0009 rose and pointed at our box.
|
||
|
||
“This thing,” they said, “must be destroyed.”
|
||
|
||
And all the others cried as one:
|
||
|
||
“It must be destroyed!”
|
||
|
||
Then we leapt to the table.
|
||
|
||
We seized our box, we shoved them aside, and we ran to the
|
||
window. We turned and we looked at them for the last time, and a
|
||
rage, such as it is not fit for humans to know, choked our voice
|
||
in our throat.
|
||
|
||
“You fools!” we cried. “You fools! You thrice-damned fools!”
|
||
|
||
We swung our fist through the windowpane, and we leapt out in a
|
||
ringing rain of glass.
|
||
|
||
We fell, but we never let the box fall from our hands. Then we
|
||
ran. We ran blindly, and men and houses streaked past us in a
|
||
torrent without shape. And the road seemed not to be flat before
|
||
us, but as if it were leaping up to meet us, and we waited for
|
||
the earth to rise and strike us in the face. But we ran. We knew
|
||
not where we were going. We knew only that we must run, run to
|
||
the end of the world, to the end of our days.
|
||
|
||
Then we knew suddenly that we were lying on a soft earth and that
|
||
we had stopped. Trees taller than we had ever seen before stood
|
||
over us in great silence. Then we knew. We were in the Uncharted
|
||
Forest. We had not thought of coming here, but our legs had
|
||
carried our wisdom, and our legs had brought us to the Uncharted
|
||
Forest against our will.
|
||
|
||
Our glass box lay beside us. We crawled to it, we fell upon it,
|
||
our face in our arms, and we lay still.
|
||
|
||
We lay thus for a long time. Then we rose, we took our box and
|
||
walked on into the forest.
|
||
|
||
It mattered not where we went. We knew that men would not follow
|
||
us, for they never enter the Uncharted Forest. We had nothing to
|
||
fear from them. The forest disposes of its own victims. This gave
|
||
us no fear either. Only we wished to be away, away from the City
|
||
and from the air that touches upon the air of the City. So we
|
||
walked on, our box in our arms, our heart empty.
|
||
|
||
We are doomed. Whatever days are left to us, we shall spend them
|
||
alone. And we have heard of the corruption to be found in
|
||
solitude. We have torn ourselves from the truth which is our
|
||
brother men, and there is no road back for us, and no redemption.
|
||
|
||
We know these things, but we do not care. We care for nothing on
|
||
earth. We are tired.
|
||
|
||
Only the glass box in our arms is like a living heart that gives
|
||
us strength. We have lied to ourselves. We have not built this
|
||
box for the good of our brothers. We built it for its own sake.
|
||
It is above all our brothers to us, and its truth above their
|
||
truth. Why wonder about this? We have not many days to live. We
|
||
are walking to the fangs awaiting us somewhere among the great,
|
||
silent trees. There is not a thing behind us to regret.
|
||
|
||
Then a blow of pain struck us, our first and our only. We thought
|
||
of the Golden One. We thought of the Golden One whom we shall
|
||
never see again. Then the pain passed. It is best. We are one of
|
||
the Damned. It is best if the Golden One forget our name and the
|
||
body which bore that name.
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
PART EIGHT
|
||
|
||
It has been a day of wonder, this, our first day in the forest.
|
||
|
||
We awoke when a ray of sunlight fell across our face. We wanted
|
||
to leap to our feet, as we have had to leap every morning of our
|
||
life, but we remembered suddenly that no bell had rung and that
|
||
there was no bell to ring anywhere. We lay on our back, we threw
|
||
our arms ou and we looked up at the sky. The leaves had edges
|
||
of silver that trembled and rippled like a river of green and
|
||
fire flowing high above us.
|
||
|
||
We did not wish to move. We thought suddenly that we could lie
|
||
thus as long as we wished, and we laughed aloud at the thought.
|
||
We could also rise, or run, or leap, or fall down again. We were
|
||
thinking that these were thoughts without sense, but before we
|
||
knew it our body had risen in one leap. Our arms stretched out of
|
||
their own will, and our body whirled and whirled, till it raised
|
||
a wind to rustle through the leaves of the bushes. Then our hands
|
||
seized a branch and swung us high into a tree, with no aim save
|
||
the wonder of learning the strength of our body. The branch
|
||
snapped under us and we fell upon the moss that was soft as a
|
||
cushion. Then our body, losing all sense, rolled over and over on
|
||
the moss, dry leaves in our tunic, in our hair, in our face. And
|
||
we heard suddenly that we were laughing, laughing aloud, laughing
|
||
as if there were no power left in us save laughter.
|
||
|
||
Then we took our glass box, and we went on into the forest. We
|
||
went on, cutting through the branches, and it was as if we were
|
||
swimming through a sea of leaves, with the bushes as waves rising
|
||
and falling and rising around us, and flinging their green sprays
|
||
high to the treetops. The trees parted before us, calling us
|
||
forward. The forest seemed to welcome us. We went on, without
|
||
thought, without care, with nothing to feel save the song of our
|
||
body.
|
||
|
||
We stopped when we felt hunger. We saw birds in the tree
|
||
branches, and flying from under our footsteps. We picked a stone
|
||
and we sent it as an arrow at a bird. It fell before us. We made
|
||
a fire, we cooked the bird, and we ate it, and no meal had ever
|
||
tasted better to us. And we thought suddenly that there was a
|
||
great satisfaction to be found in the food which we need and
|
||
obtain by our own hand. And we wished to be hungry again and
|
||
soon, that we might know again this strange new pride in eating.
|
||
|
||
Then we walked on. And we came to a stream which lay as a streak
|
||
of glass among the trees. It lay so still that we saw no water
|
||
but only a cut in the earth, in which the trees grew down,
|
||
upturned, and the sky lay at the bottom. We knelt by the stream
|
||
and we bent down to drink. And then we stopped. For, upon the
|
||
blue of the sky below us, we saw our own face for the first time.
|
||
|
||
We sat still and we held our breath. For our face and our body
|
||
were beautiful. Our face was not like the faces of our brothers,
|
||
for we felt not pity when looking upon it. Our body was not like
|
||
the bodies of our brothers, for our limbs were straight and thin
|
||
and hard and strong. And we thought that we could trust this
|
||
being who looked upon us from the stream, and that we had nothing
|
||
to fear with this being.
|
||
|
||
We walked on till the sun had set. When the shadows gathered
|
||
among the trees, we stopped in a hollow between the roots, where
|
||
we shall sleep tonight. And suddenly, for the first time this
|
||
day, we remembered that we are the Damned. We remembered it, and
|
||
we laughed.
|
||
|
||
We are writing this on the paper we had hidden in our tunic
|
||
together with the written pages we had brought for the World
|
||
Council of Scholars, but never given to them. We have much to
|
||
speak of to ourselves, and we hope we shall find the words for it
|
||
in the days to come. Now, we cannot speak, for we cannot
|
||
understand.
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
PART NINE
|
||
|
||
We have not written for many days. We did not wish to speak. For
|
||
we needed no words to remember that which has happened to us.
|
||
|
||
It was on our second day in the forest that we heard steps behind
|
||
us. We hid in the bushes, and we waited. The steps came closer.
|
||
And then we saw the fold of a white tunic among the trees, and a
|
||
gleam of gold.
|
||
|
||
We leapt forward, we ran to them, and we stood looking upon the
|
||
Golden One.
|
||
|
||
They saw us, and their hands closed into fists, and the fists
|
||
pulled their arms down, as if they wished their arms to hold
|
||
them, while their body swayed. And they could not speak.
|
||
|
||
We dared not come too close to them. We asked, and our voice
|
||
trembled:
|
||
|
||
“How did you come to be here, Golden One?”
|
||
|
||
But they whispered only:
|
||
|
||
“We have found you....”
|
||
|
||
“How did you come to be in the forest?” we asked.
|
||
|
||
They raised their head, and there was a great pride in their
|
||
voice; they answered:
|
||
|
||
“We have followed you.”
|
||
|
||
Then we could not speak, and they said:
|
||
|
||
“We heard that you had gone to the Uncharted Forest, for the
|
||
whole City is speaking of it. So on the night of the day when we
|
||
heard it, we ran away from the Home of the Peasants. We found the
|
||
marks of your feet across the plain where no men walk. So we
|
||
followed them, and we went into the forest, and we followed the
|
||
path where the branches were broken by your body.”
|
||
|
||
Their white tunic was torn, and the branches had cut the skin of
|
||
their arms, but they spoke as if they had never taken notice of
|
||
it, nor of weariness, nor of fear.
|
||
|
||
“We have followed you,” they said, “and we shall follow you
|
||
wherever you go. If danger threatens you, we shall face it also.
|
||
If it be death, we shall die with you. You are damned, and we
|
||
wish to share your damnation.”
|
||
|
||
They looked upon us, and their voice was low, but there was
|
||
bitterness and triumph in their voice.
|
||
|
||
“Your eyes are as a flame, but our brothers have neither hope nor
|
||
fire. Your mouth is cut of granite, but our brothers are soft and
|
||
humble. Your head is high, but our brothers cringe. You walk, but
|
||
our brothers crawl. We wish to be damned with you, rather than
|
||
blessed with all our brothers. Do as you please with us, but do
|
||
not send us away from you.”
|
||
|
||
Then they knelt, and bowed their golden head before us.
|
||
|
||
We had never thought of that which we did. We bent to raise the
|
||
Golden One to their feet, but when we touched them, it was as if
|
||
madness had stricken us. We seized their body and we pressed our
|
||
lips to theirs. The Golden One breathed once, and their breath
|
||
was a moan, and then their arms closed around us.
|
||
|
||
We stood together for a long time. And we were frightened that we
|
||
had lived for twenty-one years and had never known what joy is
|
||
possible to men.
|
||
|
||
Then we said:
|
||
|
||
“Our dearest one. Fear nothing of the forest. There is no danger
|
||
in solitude. We have no need of our brothers. Let us forget their
|
||
good and our evil, let us forget all things save that we are
|
||
together and that there is joy as a bond between us. Give us your
|
||
hand. Look ahead. It is our own world, Golden One, a strange,
|
||
unknown world, but our own.”
|
||
|
||
Then we walked on into the forest, their hand in ours.
|
||
|
||
And that night we knew that to hold the body of women in our arms
|
||
is neither ugly nor shameful, but the one ecstasy granted to the
|
||
race of men.
|
||
|
||
We have walked for many days. The forest has no end, and we seek
|
||
no end. But each day added to the chain of days between us and
|
||
the City is like an added blessing.
|
||
|
||
We have made a bow and many arrows. We can kill more birds than
|
||
we need for our food; we find water and fruit it
|
||
night, we choose a clearing, and we build a ring of fires around
|
||
it. We sleep in the midst of that ring, and the beasts dare not
|
||
attack us. We can see their eyes, green and yellow as coals,
|
||
watching us from the tree branches beyond. The fires smoulder as
|
||
a crown of jewels around us, and smoke stands still in the air,
|
||
in columns made blue by the moonlight. We sleep together in the
|
||
midst of the ring, the arms of the Golden One around us, their
|
||
head upon our breast.
|
||
|
||
Some day, we shall stop and build a house, when we shall have
|
||
gone far enough. But we do not have to hasten. The days before us
|
||
are without end, like the forest.
|
||
|
||
We cannot understand this new life which we have found, yet it
|
||
seems so clear and so simple. When questions come to puzzle us,
|
||
we walk faster, then turn and forget all things as we watch the
|
||
Golden One following. The shadows of leaves fall upon their arms,
|
||
as they spread the branches apart, but their shoulders are in the
|
||
sun. The skin of their arms is like a blue mist, but their
|
||
shoulders are white and glowing, as if the light fell not from
|
||
above, but rose from under their skin. We watch the leaf which
|
||
has fallen upon their shoulder, and it lies at the curve of their
|
||
neck, and a drop of dew glistens upon it like a jewel. They
|
||
approach us, and they stop, laughing, knowing what we think, and
|
||
they wait obediently, without questions, till it pleases us to
|
||
turn and go on.
|
||
|
||
We go on and we bless the earth under our feet. But questions
|
||
come to us again, as we walk in silence. If that which we have
|
||
found is the corruption of solitude, then what can men wish for
|
||
save corruption? If this is the great evil of being alone, then
|
||
what is good and what is evil?
|
||
|
||
Everything which comes from the many is good. Everything which
|
||
comes from one is evil. This have we been taught with our first
|
||
breath. We have broken the law, but we have never doubted it. Yet
|
||
now, as we walk through the forest, we are learning to doubt.
|
||
|
||
There is no life for men, save in useful toil for the good of all
|
||
their brothers. But we lived not, when we toiled for our
|
||
brothers, we were only weary. There is no joy for men, save the
|
||
joy shared with all their brothers. But the only things which
|
||
taught us joy were the power we created in our wires, and the
|
||
Golden One. And both these joys belong to us alone, they come
|
||
from us alone, they bear no relation to all our brothers, and
|
||
they do not concern our brothers in any way. Thus do we wonder.
|
||
|
||
There is some error, one frightful error, in the thinking of men.
|
||
What is that error? We do not know, but the knowledge struggles
|
||
within us, struggles to be born. Today, the Golden One stopped
|
||
suddenly and said:
|
||
|
||
“We love you.”
|
||
|
||
But they frowned and shook their head and looked at us
|
||
helplessly.
|
||
|
||
“No,” they whispered, “that is not what we wished to say.”
|
||
|
||
They were silent, then they spoke slowly, and their words were
|
||
halting, like the words of a child learning to speak for the
|
||
first time:
|
||
|
||
“We are one... alone... and only... and we love you who are
|
||
one... alone... and only.”
|
||
|
||
We looked into each other’s eyes and we knew that the breath of a
|
||
miracle had touched us, and fled, and left us groping vainly.
|
||
|
||
And we felt torn, torn for some word we could not find.
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
We are sitting at a table and we are writing this upon paper made
|
||
thousands of years ago. The light is dim, and we cannot see the
|
||
Golden One, only one lock of gold on the pillow of an ancient
|
||
bed. This is our home.
|
||
|
||
We came upon it today, at sunrise. For many days we had been
|
||
crossing a chain of mountains. The forest rose among cliffs, and
|
||
whenever we walked out upon a barren stretch of rock we saw great
|
||
peaks before us in the west, and to the north of us, and to the
|
||
south, as far as our eyes could see. The peaks were red and
|
||
brown, with the green streaks of forests as veins upon them, with
|
||
blue mists as veils over their heads. We had never heard of these
|
||
mountains, nor seen them marked on any map. The Uncharted Forest
|
||
has protected them from the Cities and from the men of the
|
||
Cities.
|
||
|
||
We climbed paths where the wild goat dared not follow. Stones
|
||
rolled from under our feet, and we heard them striking the rocks
|
||
below, farther and farther down, and the mountains rang with each
|
||
stroke, and long after the strokes had died. But we went on, for
|
||
we knew that no men would ever follow our track nor reach us
|
||
here.
|
||
|
||
Then today, at sunrise, we saw a white flame among the trees,
|
||
high on a sheer peak before us. We thought that it was a fire and
|
||
stopped. But the flame was unmoving, yet blinding as liquid
|
||
metal. So we climbed toward it through the rocks. And there,
|
||
before us, on a broad summit, with the mountains rising behind
|
||
it, stood a house such as we had never seen, and the white fire
|
||
came from the sun on the glass of its windows.
|
||
|
||
The house had two stories and a strange roof flat as a floor.
|
||
There was more window than wall upon its walls, and the windows
|
||
went on straight around the corners, though how this kept the
|
||
house standing we could not guess. The walls were hard and
|
||
smooth, of that stone unlike stone which we had seen in our
|
||
tunnel.
|
||
|
||
We both knew it without words: this house was left from the
|
||
Unmentionable Times. The trees had protected it from time and
|
||
weather, and from men who have less pity than time and weather.
|
||
We turned to the Golden One and we asked:
|
||
|
||
“Are you afraid?”
|
||
|
||
But they shook their head. So we walked to the door, and we threw
|
||
it open, and we stepped together into the house of the
|
||
Unmentionable Times.
|
||
|
||
We shall need the days and the years ahead, to look, to learn,
|
||
and to understand the things of this house. Today, we could only
|
||
look and try to believe the sight of our eyes. We pulled the
|
||
heavy curtains from the windows and we saw that the rooms were
|
||
small, and we thought that not more than twelve men could have
|
||
lived here. We thought it strange that men had been permitted to
|
||
build a house for only twelve.
|
||
|
||
Never had we seen rooms so full of light. The sunrays danced upon
|
||
colors, colors, more colors than we thought possible, we who had
|
||
seen no houses save the white ones, the brown ones and the grey.
|
||
There were great pieces of glass on the walls, but it was not
|
||
glass, for when we looked upon it we saw our own bodies and all
|
||
the things behind us, as on the face of a lake. There were
|
||
strange things which we had never seen and the use of which we do
|
||
not know. And there were globes of glass everywhere, in each
|
||
room, the globes with the metal cobwebs inside, such as we had
|
||
seen in our tunnel.
|
||
|
||
We found the sleeping hall and we stood in awe upon its
|
||
threshold. For it was a small room and there were only two beds
|
||
in it. We found no other beds in the house, and then we knew that
|
||
only two had lived here, and this passes understanding. What kind
|
||
of world did they have, the men of the Unmentionable Times?
|
||
|
||
We found garments, and the Golden One gasped at the sight of
|
||
them. For they were not white tunics, nor white togas; they were
|
||
of all colors, no two of them alike. Some crumbled to dust as we
|
||
touched them. But others were of heavier cloth, and they felt
|
||
soft and new in our fingers.
|
||
|
||
We found a room with walls made of shelves, which held rows of
|
||
manuscripts, from the floor to the ceiling. Never had we seen
|
||
such a number of them, nor of such strange shape. They were not
|
||
soft and rolled, they had hard shells of cloth and leather; and
|
||
the letters on their pages were so small and so even that we
|
||
wondered at the men who had such handwriting. We glanced through
|
||
the pages, and we saw that they were written in our language, but
|
||
we found many words which we could not understand. Tomorrow, we
|
||
shall begin to read these scripts.
|
||
|
||
When we had seen all the rooms of the house, we looked at the
|
||
Golden One and we both knew the thought in our minds.
|
||
|
||
“We shall never leave this house,” we said, “nor let it be taken
|
||
from us. This is our home and the end of our journey. This is
|
||
your house, Golden One, and ours, and it belongs to no other men
|
||
whatever as far as the earth may stretch. We shall not share it
|
||
with others, as we share not our joy with them, nor our love, nor
|
||
our hunger. So be it to the end of our days.”
|
||
|
||
“Your will be done,” they said.
|
||
|
||
Then we went out to gather wood for the great hearth of our home.
|
||
We brought water from the stream which runs among the trees under
|
||
our windows. We killed a mountain goat, and we brought its flesh
|
||
to be cooked in a strange copper pot we found in a place of
|
||
wonders, which must have been the cooking room of the house.
|
||
|
||
We did this work alone, for no words of ours could take the
|
||
Golden One away from the big glass which is not glass. They stood
|
||
before it and they looked and looked upon their own body.
|
||
|
||
When the sun sank beyond the mountains, the Golden One fell
|
||
asleep on the floor, amidst jewels, and bottles of crystal, and
|
||
flowers of silk. We lifted the Golden One in our arms and we
|
||
carried them to a bed, their head falling softly upon our
|
||
shoulder. Then we lit a candle, and we brought paper from the
|
||
room of the manuscripts, and we sat by the window, for we knew
|
||
that we could not sleep tonight.
|
||
|
||
And now we look upon the earth and sky. This spread of naked rock
|
||
and peaks and moonlight is like a world ready to be born, a world
|
||
that waits. It seems to us it asks a sign from us, a spark, a
|
||
first commandment. We cannot know what word we are to give, nor
|
||
what great deed this earth expects to witness. We know it waits.
|
||
It seems to say it has great gifts to lay before us, but it
|
||
wishes a greater gift for us. We are to speak. We are to give its
|
||
goal, its highest meaning to all this glowing space of rock and
|
||
sky.
|
||
|
||
We look ahead, we beg our heart for guidance in answering this
|
||
call no voice has spoken, yet we have heard. We look upon our
|
||
hands. We see the dust of centuries, the dust which hid the great
|
||
secrets and perhaps great evils. And yet it stirs no fear within
|
||
our heart, but only silent reverence and pity.
|
||
|
||
May knowledge come to us! What is the secret our heart has
|
||
understood and yet will not reveal to us, although it seems to
|
||
beat as if it were endeavoring to tell it?
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
PART ELEVEN
|
||
|
||
I am. I think. I will.
|
||
|
||
My hands... My spirit... My sky... My forest... This earth of
|
||
mine.... What must Iy besides? These are the words. This is
|
||
the answer.
|
||
|
||
I stand here on the summit of the mountain. I lift my head and I
|
||
spread my arms. This, my body and spirit, this is the end of the
|
||
quest. I wished to know the meaning of things. I am the meaning.
|
||
I wished to find a warrant for being. I need no warrant for
|
||
being, and no word of sanction upon my being. I am the warrant
|
||
and the sanction.
|
||
|
||
It is my eyes which see, and the sight of my eyes grants beauty
|
||
to the earth. It is my ears which hear, and the hearing of my
|
||
ears gives its song to the world. It is my mind which thinks, and
|
||
the judgement of my mind is the only searchlight that can find
|
||
the truth. It is my will which chooses, and the choice of my will
|
||
is the only edict I must respect.
|
||
|
||
Many words have been granted me, and some are wise, and some are
|
||
false, but only three are holy: “I will it!”
|
||
|
||
Whatever road I take, the guiding star is within me; the guiding
|
||
star and the loadstone which point the way. They point in but one
|
||
direction. They point to me.
|
||
|
||
I know not if this earth on which I stand is the core of the
|
||
universe or if it is but a speck of dust lost in eternity. I know
|
||
not and I care not. For I know what happiness is possible to me
|
||
on earth. And my happiness needs no higher aim to vindicate it.
|
||
My happiness is not the means to any end. It is the end. It is
|
||
its own goal. It is its own purpose.
|
||
|
||
Neither am I the means to any end others may wish to accomplish.
|
||
I am not a tool for their use. I am not a servant of their needs.
|
||
I am not a bandage for their wounds. I am not a sacrifice on
|
||
their altars.
|
||
|
||
I am a man. This miracle of me is mine to own and keep, and mine
|
||
to guard, and mine to use, and mine to kneel before!
|
||
|
||
I do not surrender my treasures, nor do I share them. The fortune
|
||
of my spirit is not to be blown into coins of brass and flung to
|
||
the winds as alms for the poor of the spirit. I guard my
|
||
treasures: my thought, my will, my freedom. And the greatest of
|
||
these is freedom.
|
||
|
||
I owe nothing to my brothers, nor do I gather debts from them. I
|
||
ask none to live for me, nor do I live for any others. I covet no
|
||
man’s soul, nor is my soul theirs to covet.
|
||
|
||
I am neither foe nor friend to my brothers, but such as each of
|
||
them shall deserve of me. And to earn my love, my brothers must
|
||
do more than to have been born. I do not grant my love without
|
||
reason, nor to any chance passer-by who may wish to claim it. I
|
||
honor men with my love. But honor is a thing to be earned.
|
||
|
||
I shall choose friends among men, but neither slaves nor masters.
|
||
And I shall choose only such as please me, and them I shall love
|
||
and respect, but neither command nor obey. And we shall join our
|
||
hands when we wish, or walk alone when we so desire. For in the
|
||
temple of his spirit, each man is alone. Let each man keep his
|
||
temple untouched and undefiled. Then let him join hands with
|
||
others if he wishes, but only beyond his holy threshold.
|
||
|
||
For the word “We” must never be spoken, save by one’s choice and
|
||
as a second thought. This word must never be placed first within
|
||
man’s soul, else it becomes a monster, the root of all the evils
|
||
on earth, the root of man’s torture by men, and of an unspeakable
|
||
lie.
|
||
|
||
The word “We” is as lime poured over men, which sets and hardens
|
||
to stone, and crushes all beneath it, and that which is white and
|
||
that which is black are lost equally in the grey of it. It is the
|
||
word by which the depraved steal the virtue of the good, by which
|
||
the weak steal the might of the strong, by which the fools steal
|
||
the wisdom of the sages.
|
||
|
||
What is my joy if all hands, even the unclean, can reach into it?
|
||
What is my wisdom, if even the fools can dictate to me? What is
|
||
my freedom, if all creatures, even the botched and the impotent,
|
||
are my masters? What is my life, if I am but to bow, to agree and
|
||
to obey?
|
||
|
||
But I am done with this creed of corruption.
|
||
|
||
I am done with the monster of “We,” the word of serfdom, of
|
||
plunder, of misery, falsehood and shame.
|
||
|
||
And now I see the face of god, and I raise this god over the
|
||
earth, this god whom men have sought since men came into being,
|
||
this god who will grant them joy and peace and pride.
|
||
|
||
This god, this one word:
|
||
|
||
“I.”
|
||
|
||
|
||
PART TWELVE
|
||
|
||
It was when I read the first of the books I found in my house
|
||
that I saw the word “I.” And when I understood this word, the
|
||
book fell from my hands, and I wept, I who had never known tears.
|
||
I wept in deliverance and in pity for all mankind.
|
||
|
||
I understood the blessed thing which I had called my curse. I
|
||
understood why the best in me had been my sins and my
|
||
transgressions; and why I had never felt guilt in my sins. I
|
||
understood that centuries of chains and lashes will not kill the
|
||
spirit of man nor the sense of truth within him.
|
||
|
||
I read many books for many days. Then I called the Golden One,
|
||
and I told her what I had read and what I had learned. She looked
|
||
at me and the first words she spoke were:
|
||
|
||
“I love you.”
|
||
|
||
Then I said:
|
||
|
||
“My dearest one, it is not proper for men to be without names.
|
||
There was a time when each man had a name of his own to
|
||
distinguish him from all other men. So let us choose our names. I
|
||
have read of a man who lived many thousands of years ago, and of
|
||
all the names in these books, his is the one I wish to bear. He
|
||
took the light of the gods and he brought it to men, and he
|
||
taught men to be gods. And he suffered for his deed as all
|
||
bearers of light must suffer. His name was Prometheus.”
|
||
|
||
“It shall be your name,” said the Golden One.
|
||
|
||
“And I have read of a goddess,” I said, “who was the mother of
|
||
the earth and of all the gods. Her name was Gaea. Let this be
|
||
your name, my Golden One, for you are to be the mother of a new
|
||
kind of gods.”
|
||
|
||
“It shall be my name,” said the Golden One.
|
||
|
||
Now I look ahead. My future is clear before me. The Saint of the
|
||
pyre had seen the future when he chose me as his heir, as the
|
||
heir of all the saints and all the martyrs who came before him
|
||
and who died for the same cause, for the same word, no matter
|
||
what name they gave to their cause and their truth.
|
||
|
||
I shall live here, in my own house. I shall take my food from the
|
||
earth by the toil of my own hands. I shall learn many secrets
|
||
from my books. Through the years ahead, I shall rebuild the
|
||
achievements of the past, and open the way to carry them further,
|
||
the achievements which are open to me, but closed forever to my
|
||
brothers, for their minds are shackled to the weakest and dullest
|
||
ones among them.
|
||
|
||
I have learned that my power of the sky was known to men long
|
||
ago; they called it Electricity. It was the power that moved
|
||
their greatest inventions. It lit this house with light which
|
||
came from those globes of glass on the walls. I have found the
|
||
engine which produced this light. I shall learn how to repair it
|
||
and how to make it work again. I shall learn how to use the wires
|
||
which carry this power. Then I shall build a barrier of wires
|
||
around my home, and across the paths which leato my home; a
|
||
barrier light as a cobweb, more impassable than a wall of
|
||
granite; a barrier my brothers will never be able to cross. For
|
||
they have nothing to fight me with, save the brute force of their
|
||
numbers. I have my mind.
|
||
|
||
Then here, on this mountaintop, with the world below me and
|
||
nothing above me but the sun, I shall live my own truth. Gaea is
|
||
pregnant with my child. Our son will be raised as a man. He will
|
||
be taught to say “I” and to bear the pride of it. He will be
|
||
taught to walk straight and on his own feet. He will be taught
|
||
reverence for his own spirit.
|
||
|
||
When I shall have read all the books and learned my new way, when
|
||
my home will be ready and my earth tilled, I shall steal one day,
|
||
for the last time, into the cursed City of my birth. I shall call
|
||
to me my friend who has no name save International 4-8818, and
|
||
all those like him, Fraternity 2-5503, who cries without reason,
|
||
and Solidarity 9-6347 who calls for help in the night, and a few
|
||
others. I shall call to me all the men and the women whose spirit
|
||
has not been killed within them and who suffer under the yoke of
|
||
their brothers. They will follow me and I shall lead them to my
|
||
fortress. And here, in this uncharted wilderness, I and they, my
|
||
chosen friends, my fellow-builders, shall write the first chapter
|
||
in the new history of man.
|
||
|
||
These are the things before me. And as I stand here at the door
|
||
of glory, I look behind me for the last time. I look upon the
|
||
history of men, which I have learned from the books, and I
|
||
wonder. It was a long story, and the spirit which moved it was
|
||
the spirit of man’s freedom. But what is freedom? Freedom from
|
||
what? There is nothing to take a man’s freedom away from him,
|
||
save other men. To be free, a man must be free of his brothers.
|
||
That is freedom. That and nothing else.
|
||
|
||
At first, man was enslaved by the gods. But he broke their
|
||
chains. Then he was enslaved by the kings. But he broke their
|
||
chains. He was enslaved by his birth, by his kin, by his race.
|
||
But he broke their chains. He declared to all his brothers that a
|
||
man has rights which neither god nor king nor other men can take
|
||
away from him, no matter what their number, for his is the right
|
||
of man, and there is no right on earth above this right. And he
|
||
stood on the threshold of the freedom for which the blood of the
|
||
centuries behind him had been spilled.
|
||
|
||
But then he gave up all he had won, and fell lower than his
|
||
savage beginning.
|
||
|
||
What brought it to pass? What disaster took their reason away
|
||
from men? What whip lashed them to their knees in shame and
|
||
submission? The worship of the word “We.”
|
||
|
||
When men accepted that worship, the structure of centuries
|
||
collapsed about them, the structure whose every beam had come
|
||
from the thought of some one man, each in his day down the ages,
|
||
from the depth of some one spirit, such spirit as existed but for
|
||
its own sake. Those men who survived those eager to obey, eager
|
||
to live for one another, since they had nothing else to vindicate
|
||
them—those men could neither carry on, nor preserve what they had
|
||
received. Thus did all thought, all science, all wisdom perish on
|
||
earth. Thus did men—men with nothing to offer save their great
|
||
number—lost the steel towers, the flying ships, the power wires,
|
||
all the things they had not created and could never keep.
|
||
Perhaps, later, some men had been born with the mind and the
|
||
courage to recover these things which were lost; perhaps these
|
||
men came before the Councils of Scholars. They were answered as I
|
||
have been answered—and for the same reasons.
|
||
|
||
But I still wonder how it was possible, in those graceless years
|
||
of transition, long ago, that men did not see whither they were
|
||
going, and went on, in blindness and cowardice, toheir fate. I
|
||
wonder, for it is hard for me to conceive how men who knew the
|
||
word “I” could give it up and not know what they lost. But such
|
||
has been the story, for I have lived in the City of the damned,
|
||
and I know what horror men permitted to be brought upon them.
|
||
|
||
Perhaps, in those days, there were a few among men, a few of
|
||
clear sight and clean soul, who refused to surrender that word.
|
||
What agony must have been theirs before that which they saw
|
||
coming and could not stop! Perhaps they cried out in protest and
|
||
in warning. But men paid no heed to their warning. And they,
|
||
these few, fought a hopeless battle, and they perished with their
|
||
banners smeared by their own blood. And they chose to perish, for
|
||
they knew. To them, I send my salute across the centuries, and my
|
||
pity.
|
||
|
||
Theirs is the banner in my hand. And I wish I had the power to
|
||
tell them that the despair of their hearts was not to be final,
|
||
and their night was not without hope. For the battle they lost
|
||
can never be lost. For that which they died to save can never
|
||
perish. Through all the darkness, through all the shame of which
|
||
men are capable, the spirit of man will remain alive on this
|
||
earth. It may sleep, but it will awaken. It may wear chains, but
|
||
it will break through. And man will go on. Man, not men.
|
||
|
||
Here on this mountain, I and my sons and my chosen friends shall
|
||
build our new land and our fort. And it will become as the heart
|
||
of the earth, lost and hidden at first, but beating, beating
|
||
louder each day. And word of it will reach every corner of the
|
||
earth. And the roads of the world will become as veins which will
|
||
carry the best of the world’s blood to my threshold. And all my
|
||
brothers, and the Councils of my brothers, will hear of it, but
|
||
they will be impotent against me. And the day will come when I
|
||
shall break all the chains of the earth, and raze the cities of
|
||
the enslaved, and my home will become the capital of a world
|
||
where each man will be free to exist for his own sake.
|
||
|
||
For the coming of that day shall I fight, I and my sons and my
|
||
chosen friends. For the freedom of Man. For his rights. For his
|
||
life. For his honor.
|
||
|
||
And here, over the portals of my fort, I shall cut in the stone
|
||
the word which is to be my beacon and my banner. The word which
|
||
will not die, should we all perish in battle. The word which can
|
||
never die on this earth, for it is the heart of it and the
|
||
meaning and the glory.
|
||
|
||
The sacred word:
|
||
|
||
EGO
|
||
|
||
|
||
|